1. Wake up @ 4:45 and put on gym clothes
2. Go back to bed and set alarm for 5:30
3. At 5:30, press snooze.
4. Repeat until 6:04.
5. Put on teaching clothes
6. Dry shampoo the crap out of hair. Form into a misshapen top knot.
7. Fill in eyebrows, apply eye-liner, and mascara.
8. Double check to make sure you didn't forget one brow, or eye.
9. Down a greek yogurt.
10. Lock the door behind you.
11. Unlock the door and race to put on deodorant and pick up school keys.
12. Go to Starbucks. Get a venti or trenta anything.
13. Drive to school. Avoid getting hit by work trucks and blind old people.
14. Arrive at school.
15. Barricade yourself in classroom. Lock yourself in there until 5 minutes before class starts.
16. Watch hilarious videos to cheer and wake you up.
17. Begrudgingly allow students to infiltrate your sanctuary.
18. Take roll.
19. Do the class.
20. Hear inappropriate phrases escape your mouth as you're in the midst of saying them.
21. Yell for quiet at least three times
22. When the bell rings wait until the students exit and then collapse in a heap on the ground.
23. Repeat steps 16-22 until 3pm.
*Between classes, scarf food.
24. Lock up and run to the escape vehicle.
25. Drive home. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
26. Unlock door. Go inside.
27. Change into whatever is least presentable. Hair should be a more disheveled top knot.
28. Lie down and don't move. For hours. Nap, Netflix, Num-nums (food-stuffs)
29. At some point eat a real meal.
30. Force yourself to stay up until 8:30 and then realize you're as fuddy-duddy as can be.
31. Give in. Go to bed.
32. While you wait for sleep to take over, think of how behind in grading you are and the million other things you have to do before the week ends. But also think about how lucky you are to be a teacher and even though you're exhausted you love everything about your job!
32. Wake up and repeat.
*During "Shark Week" add *eat chocolate* between each step.
2. Go back to bed and set alarm for 5:30
3. At 5:30, press snooze.
4. Repeat until 6:04.
5. Put on teaching clothes
6. Dry shampoo the crap out of hair. Form into a misshapen top knot.
7. Fill in eyebrows, apply eye-liner, and mascara.
8. Double check to make sure you didn't forget one brow, or eye.
9. Down a greek yogurt.
10. Lock the door behind you.
11. Unlock the door and race to put on deodorant and pick up school keys.
12. Go to Starbucks. Get a venti or trenta anything.
13. Drive to school. Avoid getting hit by work trucks and blind old people.
14. Arrive at school.
15. Barricade yourself in classroom. Lock yourself in there until 5 minutes before class starts.
16. Watch hilarious videos to cheer and wake you up.
17. Begrudgingly allow students to infiltrate your sanctuary.
18. Take roll.
19. Do the class.
20. Hear inappropriate phrases escape your mouth as you're in the midst of saying them.
21. Yell for quiet at least three times
22. When the bell rings wait until the students exit and then collapse in a heap on the ground.
23. Repeat steps 16-22 until 3pm.
*Between classes, scarf food.
24. Lock up and run to the escape vehicle.
25. Drive home. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
26. Unlock door. Go inside.
27. Change into whatever is least presentable. Hair should be a more disheveled top knot.
28. Lie down and don't move. For hours. Nap, Netflix, Num-nums (food-stuffs)
29. At some point eat a real meal.
30. Force yourself to stay up until 8:30 and then realize you're as fuddy-duddy as can be.
31. Give in. Go to bed.
32. While you wait for sleep to take over, think of how behind in grading you are and the million other things you have to do before the week ends. But also think about how lucky you are to be a teacher and even though you're exhausted you love everything about your job!
32. Wake up and repeat.
*During "Shark Week" add *eat chocolate* between each step.
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